Cherry Coke and masks
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Cherry Coke and masks

Forgive me if I have written about some of this before. I am four weeks from 50, and my memory has not been what it used to be. Neither has my ability to stand up without hearing creaking noises from various parts of my body. Good times.

My family has had a long history with Coca Cola. Husband #1 used to drink it like water. Especially since he didn’t drink water, and Coke was the only beverage he would consume. Several years ago, he had to switch to Fanta because he was told that the cause of his kidney stones was the Coke he was drinking. Apparently, Fanta is better for him because of all the vitamin C… (Yes, I know the only thing truly orange about Fanta is its color.) The other relationship that I had with Coke was the “my Coke reward” years. For those of you who don’t know what that is, “my Coke rewards” was a promotional situation where you would type in the numbers on the Coke product you had consumed/purchased; when you had enough points, you were able to get prizes. This all started when my boys had wanted one of the prizes, so I, their crazy mother, spent every waking moment trying to enter as many points as possible. Of course my boys decided that they no longer wanted the prize, but I was totally invested. Husband #1 and I were recalling all of the simchas we went to where I would be chatting up the bartenders so they would give me all of the caps from the empty bottles of Coca Cola brand beverages.

This obsession was not a total waste. I am the proud owner of a Coca Cola sweatshirt, a set of four drinking glasses, knapsack, grocery bag, fanny pack, Diet Coke t-shirt, Coke Zero t-shirt, Sprite t-shirt, Fanta t-shirt, white Coca Cola t-shirt, red Coca Cola t-shirt, and a beer cosy.

Anyway, over the past year or so, I have become a fan of Cherry Coke. No idea why. Yes, I know how unhealthy it is, but just put it on the list of things I do that aren’t good for me. Over the past few weeks, I have noticed a shortage of my Cherry Coke. Not just a shortage — there is none. Nothing. No where. None in Shoprite, or Stop n Shop, or Acme, or Walgreens, or CVS, or Target. Nada.

This made me very sad. So what did I do? I sent the Coca Cola company an email asking them about my Cherry Coke. Surprisingly, they responded. And not just a form letter, but a beautifully worded apology. And a coupon for some free soda. I have got to say that this letter was a ray of sunshine in the midst of all this situational darkness. Of course the letter was as helpful as a subway token. According to my new friends in Atlanta, where the company is based, it is concentrating only on the more popular flavors and meeting the needs of those consumers. So those wackadoos, like me, who like only Cherry Coke are up a creek.

But, again, the letter was so eloquently worded that I forgive them for not having an answer for me about when I will see my favorite product on the shelves again. Oh well.

Why is this my topic for this week? So glad you asked. As some of you know, Husband #1 and I were alone for the beginning of the Sukkot holiday. Just the two of us. Me and him. Him and me. Our goal was to make Friday night dinner longer than the 11 minutes that it usually takes us. (There is only so much you can talk about when there is no one else to talk to.) And one of our topics was how funny it would have been if I had been able to get a Coca Cola mask with my my Coke rewards points. And we decided that it would make an interesting, if not weak, column topic. And talking about possible column topics helped our dinner last longer than 11 minutes. In fact, dinner was almost two hours!!! A Sukkot miracle.

And there you go. If you like Cherry Coke, you are out of luck for the time being.

Hoping you are all staying healthy and sane.

Banji Ganchrow of Teaneck is hoping that she won’t be alone for the second days of this holiday. And that the corned beef she bought to make for Dil #1 comes out good, because she has never made it before. And because she wants Dil #1 to like her.

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