Where’s my Nobel?
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Where’s my Nobel?

Like everybody else this morning (including President Obama) I woke up to the shocking news that Barack Obama had won the Nobel Peace Prize.

Now, you – like most of us – may be thinking, “He’s only been in office nine months and hasn’t really accomplished anything yet, why is he getting a Nobel Peace Prize?” According to the Associated Press story:

The Nobel Committee lauded the change in global mood wrought by Obama’s calls for peace and cooperation but recognized initiatives that have yet to bear fruit: reducing the world stock of nuclear arms, easing American conflicts with Muslim nations and strengthening the U.S. role in combating climate change.

Make no mistake, Obama is an excellent orator and a very smart fellow. But looking over the reasons listed by the Nobel committee I can’t find one thing that has yielded any results – not to mention the fact that, as many news outlets have reported, Nobel nominations ended just two weeks after Obama took office. How much hope around the world did he inspire in two weeks? Nuclear arms have not been reduced and Iran is teetering on the brink of a bomb. The wars in Iraq and Afghanistan are ongoing and Al Qaeda still hates us. Global warming has not ended or even been slowed down. At home, Obama’s health-care reform plan has been watered down to a shell of its former self, the economy is still in the dumps despite forecasts, and gas prices are on the rise.

As such, I submit to you now, dear readers, my qualifications for a Nobel Peace Prize. I am at least as deserving as Obama.

Because of one of my articles, The Sharper Image chain of stores recalled a globe that incorrectly listed Palestine next to Israel. The chain soon after went out of business. I’ve built bridges and mediated conflicts (I spent several years teaching Hebrew school, and I have a friend with two small children who enjoyed nothing more than beating each other up – at least until I got to them, now they enjoy using me as a climbing tree). I’ve put a large spotlight on education (my articles on the day-school tuition crisis, and my work as a newspaper adviser at a local high school). This weekend I’ll be helping in a Chabad kitchen, preparing sandwiches for a community Simchat Torah celebration (feeding the hungry). And for several months now I have been walking almost everywhere locally, cutting down on carbon emissions and saving the environment. Did I mention that I also recycle?

So I’ve really done much more to earn the Nobel Peace Prize than President Obama. Are you paying attention, Nobel Prize Selection Committee?

Now if you excuse me, I’m going to go wait by the phone for them to call.

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