The release of hostages: A triumph at an unbearable cost

Israel welcomed home three of the 98 hostages on January 19 — Romi Gonen, Doron Steinbrecher, and Emily Damari. After 471 horrific days of captivity in Gaza, their return should have been a moment of unmitigated joy. Instead, it comes at a staggering cost: the release of 92 convicted terrorists serving life sentences for heinous crimes, including the murder of innocent civilians.

This is a searing reminder of the unbearable price Israel is willing to pay to uphold its unshakable commitment to the sanctity of life. Each name on the list of released prisoners represents justice sacrificed, security compromised, and wounds reopened. Yet this is the choice Israel is forced to make, because that is who we are. Even as our enemies celebrate death, we will always choose life.

The release of Romi, Doron, and Emily brings immense relief to their families, and to all of us. Their stories, however, lay bare the horrific cruelty of Hamas and the resilience of the human spirit.

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Romi Gonen, 24, was kidnapped from the Nova music festival. Shot in the hand during her capture, Romi endured more than a year of physical and emotional trauma in Hamas’s captivity. In a final act of humiliation, her captors braided her hair and forced her to wear a necklace with the Palestinian flag before her release. Yet as Romi stepped into her family’s arms, she carried not just the scars of her captivity but the strength of survival that no act of cruelty could diminish.

Doron Steinbrecher, 31, was kidnapped from Kibbutz Kfar Aza. In a desperate attempt to protect herself, Doron blocked the door and hid under her bed as terrorists stormed her home. For months, her family received no proof of life, clinging to hope in the face of despair. They finally embraced her again, though the physical and emotional scars of her 471 days in Gaza will remain.

Emily Damari, 28, a British-Israeli citizen, also was kidnapped from Kfar Aza. For over a year, her family endured the torment of silence, fearing the worst but refusing to give up hope. Emily’s return is a testament to their resilience and to Israel’s unwavering commitment to bring its people home.

These are not just stories of survival. They are stories of an enemy that turns human lives into weapons and uses them as leverage to achieve its grotesque goals. They are also stories of triumph, of families who never gave up, of a nation that refuses to abandon its own, and of the unbreakable bond of love and humanity that endures even the darkest days.

While Romi, Doron, and Emily are home, 95 others remain, their fates unknown. Among them are Shiri Bibas and her two sons, Ariel, 4, and Kfir, who was just 8.5 months old when he was taken and spent his second birthday in captivity on January 18.

For Ariel and Kfir, captivity has become their reality. Kfir has lived longer with terrorists than with his own family. Hamas has refused to provide proof of life for Shiri and her boys, leaving their family in agonizing limbo. This is Hamas’s cruelty at its core. You cannot claim to stand with humanity and innocent children while ignoring the inhumane cruelty of the story of the Bibas boys.

Over the next 42 days, more of the 95 remaining hostages will come home, hopefully alive. In exchange, Israel will release prisoners serving life sentences for orchestrating some of the most heinous acts of terror. Among those to be freed are Mohammed Abu Warda, the mastermind behind the 1996 Jerusalem bus bombing that murdered Teaneck resident Sara Duker and her fiancé Matthew Eisenfeld, and Khalil Jabarin, the teenager who murdered Ari Fuld in cold blood in 2018. This is a painful reminder that justice can be undone in a moment.

For Teaneck, this moment is deeply personal. This isn’t international politics, as some have casually dismissed it. Teaneck residents remain part of this community no matter where they are, and their safety and dignity are not negotiable. To suggest otherwise, to say that someone’s son or daughter doesn’t matter because they are overseas, or that we should only focus on Teaneck residents currently living in Teaneck, is inhumane. If a leader were to say such a thing to a parent whose child was in Israel on October 7, it would simply be unforgivable.

Sara Duker was a brilliant 22-year-old Barnard graduate. She had her whole life ahead of her. She was planning to marry Matthew, a rabbinical student at the Jewish Theological Seminary, and devote her life to making the world a better place. Sara was the embodiment of promise, cut down in an instant by senseless hatred. She was a proud Teaneck resident, a Solomon Schechter alumna, and a young woman whose brilliance touched countless lives, including mine.

Her murder is a piece of this community’s history, memorialized in the statue that stands on Teaneck’s municipal green. Residents walk by it every day, a quiet reminder of what was stolen from this community and of the moral stakes we face now. Sara’s life mattered — to her family, to this town, to the world. Her murder remains an unhealed wound, reopened by the release of her killer.

While Israel grieves the cost of this exchange, some have chosen to glorify Hamas’s barbarity. On July 19, so-called activist Sean King described the handover of hostages by Hamas as a “majestic scene” on his Telegram channel. For King, the spectacle of Hamas terrorists conducting a hostage handover, complete with goody bags, was worthy of admiration. What he calls majestic is in reality a grotesque manipulation by an organization that glorifies death and thrives on leveraging human suffering. These words are an affront to every family shattered by Hamas’s terror. For those who truly understand Hamas’s agenda, there is nothing majestic about murderers parading their victims as tools of leverage.

Israel makes this choice not because justice doesn’t matter, but because life matters more. This is the agonizing moral paradox Israel faces. Israel values life so deeply that it sacrifices justice to preserve it. The release of Romi, Doron, and Emily is a moment of triumph overshadowed by immense sacrifice. It reflects the unbearable choices Israel is forced to make in order to uphold the sanctity of life. It is a story of hostages brought home at the cost of releasing their captors, of joy tempered by the knowledge that justice has been compromised. This is who we are.

Even as we fight to bring hostages home, we must not forget those who will never return. Among them is Hersh Goldberg-Polin, the 23-year-old American citizen Hamas kidnapped from Nova. Through his amazing parents, we all came to know and love Hersh. When news came that he had been brutally executed in a terror tunnel, we all wept.

Hersh’s story reminds us of the stakes, of the lives stolen by those who glorify death and destruction. His death leaves a void that no deal, no exchange, no act of justice can ever fill. His memory, and the love his family and community carry forward, must inspire us to act, to fight for life, to uphold justice, and to honor those we have lost. As we remember Hersh and all those taken from us, let us carry their legacies forward with the resolve to create a world where such tragedies are no longer possible.

The cost of survival is staggering, not just in the lives saved, but in the lives forever lost, in the justice abandoned, and in the unbearable grief carried by families who must live with this pain every day. For those who will never come home, for those still waiting in the shadows of captivity, and for those who fight to protect us all, we must remember this truth: survival comes at a cost, but it is also our greatest triumph.

May their memories be a revolution.

Hillary Goldberg, a lifelong resident of Teaneck and founder and editor-in-chief of the Teaneck Tomorrow email newsletter, was elected to her hometown’s Township Council in 2022. After October 7, she wrote a resolution condemning Hamas and supporting Israel that council adopted unanimously.