I agree with that study
There are few things better than when you come across a study that validates your belief system. I turned on the television the other day, and Channel 7 was reporting that there was a study done on the benefits of swearing. Yes, you read that correctly. Guess it was a slow news day.
Don’t worry, I will not be swearing in this column. I have never sworn in front of any of my adorable pastries, and I think I only slipped up once in front of one of my dils. My sons, on the other hand, are a totally different wstory. Poor kids.
Someone once asked me how my sons turned out the way they did. He was referring to their status as Oreos. And I, without hesitation, responded, “Because I wear pants and curse a lot.”
I apologize for those of you who may take offense to that comment. My living mother is one of those people, and my no-longer-living father is another. They did not like when I said bad words. “We did not raise you to speak that way,” they would say quite often. I have had my mouth washed out with soap on more than one occasion.
Do parents even do that anymore?
My kids, miraculously, never swore, and Husband #1 never has either. Not once. In the more than 30 years we have been together. Can you imagine? Living with someone like me and never swearing? (Or drinking, but that is for an entirely different column.)
So when I saw the headlines about this report, I took notice and I took pictures of what they posted on the screen, just to make sure I wasn’t hallucinating.
According to some study done somewhere, possibly Japan, but I could be making that up, swearing was linked to higher pain tolerance. Which means that when you fall on your shoulder after tripping over a pile of laundry that someone else was supposed to pick up, burn your hand making wacky mac, or slice your finger open when cutting a turkey sandwich for your husband, when you let out that stream of bad words, it actually helps with the pain.
How amazing is that? All this time, all those words I would utter were actually helping me feel better!
Here are the bullet points that I photographed, accompanied by my commentary. Feel free to get a pen and paper so you can write these down.
Swearing benefits — Higher pain tolerance. As I previously mentioned, by letting those bad words leave your mouth, your pain magically goes away, or at least lessens tremendously.
Boosts social bonds — My take on this is that you have more friends if you curse in front of them. Actually, I have no idea how it could boost social bonds, unless you are bonding with other individuals who have a potty mouth.
Alleviates heartbreak — Hmm. I am thinking back to the more significant breakups in my romance history and I am not really sure how cursing could have helped with the heartbreak. Unless cursing the person out would make you feel better. You do feel a little better after doing that, but then you are sad again, so this one is questionable…
Increases strength — This is another questionable benefit to cursing. I have very little upper body strength, and I cannot imagine that cursing is going to help improve that. Working out with weights probably would help, but for research purposes only, I will stand in front of a mirror and say some bad words and let you know if I see any more definition in my upper arms. Or any definition at all. It seems unlikely, but stranger things have happened.
Then there was another study I came across about being a father of girls. According to this study, girl dads are likely to live up to 74 weeks longer for each girl they have. There was no reasoning or science behind it, and the report said that boy dads don’t live a shorter amount of time.
So what was the reason for this study? Who did they poll exactly? Again, it must have been a slow news day. My two cents? Don’t girl dads worry about their dating lives and the possible awful men they could end up marrying? Wouldn’t that take a toll on their longevity? Guess not.
Well, my friends, that is all the information I have for you today. And if you are a kid reading this, please do not curse in front of your parents or in front of anyone for that matter. Getting your mouth washed out with soap is not pleasant.
Banji Ganchrow of Teaneck had a wonderful weekend celebrating a wonderful simcha and then got to see Strudel and her sisters and her parents. Thank you Hashem.
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