How not to become a rabbi - The Jewish Standard

I want to commend Joanne Palmer for her ability to render Steven Blane’s phantasmagorical imagination into something which simple humans can understand (“A new way to become a rabbi?” Aug. 24).

What an imagination! An aged rabbi on the far fringes of Jewish life ordains an eager middle-aged man after a relatively short period of time. The new rabbi, filled with the spark of divinity, undertakes to bestow his wisdom and holiness on all who seek him. On line, unseen, committed only to intermarriage, they become rabbis after twelve months of two-hour weekly lessons.

Quite a story! One hopes that Blane will continue to expand it and that Ms. Palmer will once again use her skill to make the incomprehensible comprehensible.

Might I suggest a story line that Blane might wish to develop? While I bow to his superior imagination, Blane might want to increase the requirements that his intermarrying and intermarried rabbis must fulfill. Why not a commitment to eat pig with legs of frogs on Yom Kippur? Surely, these rabbis will be the leaders of a new Sabbatean army seeking to bring down the old Jewish order.

Blane’s narrative would doubtless be far more enthralling than mine. Perhaps it will gain the attention of some famed filmmaker, who would bring forth the true profundity of the fantasy.

Alternatively, it would make great Purim Torah.

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