Grandma goes to camp
A wonderful visiting day heals less happy memories of her own sleepaway summer
“Are you coming to see us on visiting day?” my granddaughter Abby asked before she left for sleepaway camp. Remembering how important visiting day was to me when I was a camper, the answer had to be a resounding yes.
Visiting day fell on a beautiful Sunday morning. In the car, my husband and I reminisced about our own camp experiences. Admittedly, I was a sleepaway camp dropout. When I was 7 years old, I was shipped off to Camp Massad Aleph in Tannersville, Pennsylvania, and I was not at all a happy camper. Actually, I was miserable.
Camp Massad was a strict place, where everyone had to speak Hebrew all the time. Let’s just say it wasn’t a warm and fuzzy camp. There were rules upon rules, and we had to make tight hospital corners on the sheets of our beds every single day.
There were freezing cold mornings when a loudspeaker would awaken us in Hebrew, ordering us to get dressed and assemble around the flagpole, where we stood with our feet together at attention. The only silver lining that summer was the beautiful Hebrew songs we learned and sang all the time. We sang at meals, at activities, during color war. I loved the music. I still remember those beautiful songs. I don’t remember speaking at all during that summer, but I sang my little heart out.
Many people loved Massad, but I was profoundly homesick in a way I couldn’t express or really understand. That was the summer my parents separated, and I sensed the turmoil that was unfolding at home. My parents needed me to be out of the house, and nothing was explained before or even after the camp season. On visiting day, my father came alone with my older sisters, which only added to my confusion.
In retrospect, I now understand why my parents sent me to camp at such an early age. They needed a place for me to go while they sorted it out at home. But I sorely needed an explanation, and a warm and fuzzy camp.
Children also have to be involved in the decision as to whether they want and are ready to go away to camp. Shipping children off to camp — or anywhere — before they are ready or because of family issues isn’t always in their best interest. It isn’t necessarily the best option. Children require clarification and discussion even in difficult and painful situations.
As my friends grew older and began to go to various sleepaway camps, I opted for day camp every year. I was a happy day camper when I could get on a bus each morning, play sports, swim, make friends, and then go home and sleep in my own bed. Even though our home situation stabilized, I never felt comfortable with the idea of sleepaway camp. For a few summers, I worked in an office and went to summer school.
My husband, Mark, on the other hand, still talks about his happy sleepaway summers at Camp Stony Clove. He and his brother went there for many years. Whenever we drive to upstate New York, where the camp used to be, he always alludes to his time as a camper, participating in the plays, sports, and lots of fun mischief.
But it was still surprising and a little unnerving to me when my children actually wanted to go away to sleepaway camp. “Are you sure?” I’d ask them repeatedly. “You know you don’t have to go. But they looked forward to going. Over the years, they enjoyed choosing from a variety of camps, including Morasha, Moshava, Sportstar, and Mesorah. Year after year we signed on, and they were happy campers, while their dropout mom shook her head in disbelief.
Later they also became counselors at their camps.
After a few hours of scenic driving to Pennsylvania, we finally reached Camp Morasha. The first thing I asked my grandchildren was, “Do you like camp? How is it?” Walking around the beautiful areas of Morasha, meeting the warm and loving counselors, I understood the wonderful experience sleepaway camp provides.
We all shared a beautiful lunch, explored the grounds, and saw lots of children, parents, and grandparents enjoying their time together. I remembered my own children’s visiting days, when it was always fun seeing people from all over the tristate area, shmoozing and catching up with them.
The hours flew by on visiting day. On the way home we got into some traffic, because of all the families visiting children at nearby camps. But it was a fun and meaningful day, and I was glad to see my happy sleepaway campers.
Esther Kook of Teaneck is a reading and learning specialist and freelance writer.
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