A recent letter stated that Orthodox Judaism cannot accept gay marriage (“Oy vey, my child is gay,” March 27).
But the issue is both communal and individual families, and this drives the practice. At one time, if a child married out of the faith, the parents sat shiva, and most had no further contact, even with the grandchildren, who might be Jewish. Nowadays, certainly the modern Orthodox do not hold with this practice. They have changed, evolved, come to see that this is not how they really want to live.
Once women had a much reduced role in the Orthodox leadership and learning. The same should be applied to the gay married couple. Do not try to force them to be hetero if they have no interest in this. If they do, fine, they can try, it’s been done. But let them marry, have children, and be counted in the Orthodox community.