‘If You Saw What I Saw’
IDF border lookout brings a chilling report about the loss of her comrades on October 7
Ariella Ruback woke up on the morning of October 7 to the sound of rockets.
Ms. Ruback is a tatzpetanit — one of the young female IDF soldiers who serve as border observers. When she was drafted into the army, a little over a year earlier, she chose to be an observer “because it’s the most important job a girl can do in the army,” Ms. Ruback said.
Hamas terrorists invaded a number of IDF bases that morning, including some that had tatzpetaniot — members of the mainly female lookout units. “They had been watching the cameras, and they saw the massive rush of terrorists crossing the border,” Rabbi Moshe Rothchild, who heads the Widows of Warriors Project, said. “They saw it, and they knew the invasion was going to happen.”
That morning, Ms. Ruback was on her base near the Gaza border. She had been resting on a chair in the operations room; when she woke up, “literally the ground was shaking,” she said. “I felt like missiles were landing on me and I was just feeling scared. I had to understand that my life is coming to an end and I had to just sit there and wait to die.
“It was really the scariest feeling I had in my life.”
Ms. Ruback lost more than 40 friends that day.
She is telling her story, “If You Saw What I Saw,” on a speaking tour in the New Jersey and New York area arranged by the Widows of Warriors Project. Ms. Ruback, a native Israeli whose parents made aliyah from Boston in 2000, is talking about what happened that day, and about her experience as a tatzpetanit in the months leading up to October 7. She spoke in Englewood on September 4 and is scheduled to speak in Bergen County on September 8 and in West Orange on September 11 at locations to be disclosed to registrants. (See box.)
Ms. Ruback’s presentations honor the memory of her friends who were murdered on their bases on October 7, Rabbi Rothchild said. She will talk about their faith, integrity, and bravery. The presentations will also draw attention to the project, which provides financial and emotional support to widows and families of soldiers, security, and medical personnel who were killed on October 7 or during the war Hamas terrorists launched that day.
Rabbi Rothchild grew up in West Orange. He taught at the Ramaz School in Manhattan and then served as the senior rabbi at the Noranda shul in Perth, Australia, and then at the Beit David Highland Lakes shul in Aventura, Florida. He moved to Israel with his family in 2009 because of their strong Zionism, Rabbi Rothchild said. “We had a good life in Florida, I had a good job, and we just felt like we had this gift of the Jewish State and how could we not try to live there.” He reasoned that “if it didn’t work out, we’d go back.” But it worked out.
When he made aliyah, Rabbi Rothchild became a tour guide. As he met people in Israel, he started to see some real financial needs. He also began to realize that there are “a lot of people around the world who want to connect to Israel in a direct way” by contributing to small charities. About 10 years ago, he started the Global Israel Alliance, a charity that helps with specific needs. “The organization developed organically,” he said. It has aided immigrants from Ukraine who moved to Israel after the Russian invasion and Holocaust survivors who “were slipping through the cracks.”
After October 7, the organization started sourcing gear for soldiers. “We provided helmets, G Shock watches, boots, about 30 different types of items,” he said.
“And then we moved from that to deal with the human tragedy. We started to adopt communities, and to help individuals affected by the attack and the war, and then from there we moved to the widows of warriors. That’s our main focus right now.”
The Widows of Warriors Project is working with close to 100 widows. Each has different needs and the project’s goal is to meet them. Sometimes that is in the form of financial support. “We helped one widow replace a broken refrigerator,” Rabbi Rothchild said. “We helped another pay to heat her home. Sometimes we pay for babysitting or cleaning help. One woman had a very small apartment, and we helped her pay for a bigger one so she has room for her parents or in-laws to stay over on Shabbat and help.” The project sends many of the women monthly packages with necessities like diapers, wipes, and baby food.
The help also takes the form of emotional support. Each of the women is paired with a volunteer who “keeps in touch with her, calls to see how she’s doing, finds out if she needs anything,” Rabbi Rothchild said. Every month “we send a gift to every woman; we call it a ‘hug package.’ It’s not a gift for her kids, it’s not things she needs, it’s something for the woman herself.” One month the package contained different soaps, another month it was a variety of teas, another time a plant. “They don’t always need money, but what they do need is to be hugged, to be embraced, to know that someone thinks about them. We’ve had such amazing feedback.”
The project also provides the women with opportunities to connect with each other to facilitate peer support. The women live all over the country, “and that’s why bringing them together is so special,” Rabbi Rothchild said. Some of them live in small communities and don’t know other widows. “We did a brunch, we’re doing a retreat,” he said. “Many of them feel alone, especially on Shabbat, so we’re starting a program to bring families together for Shabbat periodically.”
This war has created many widows, Rabbi Rothchild said. Most of the wars Israel has fought have been much shorter. “The Yom Kippur war lasted three weeks and that was a long war.” So fewer women were left widowed.
“You can’t get rid of their pain, but you can ease it,” he continued. “It’s very different from a situation where someone is hungry or needs money — you give them food and you can solve the problem. This is not an issue that’s solvable; all you can do is ease their suffering, maybe restore a little bit of normalcy, maybe restore a smile. But you cannot fix it, which, by the way, is new to me. Most things we did in the past, you felt like you can fix it. Someone can’t pay their rent, you help them.
“This is something that is very heartbreaking in that you can’t fix the situation, you can just help and be there.”
The project promises to be there for the long term. “I tell the women, we’re going be there for a month or a year or five years, we’re going to be there as long as you want us to be there. That’s our pledge.
“We tell them that though the path might be difficult, our promise is that they’ll never walk alone. We feel like these soldiers are giving their lives for all of us, and so we have an obligation to look after what was most precious to them — their wives and children, their families.”
Ms. Ruback has spoken about her experience many times in Israel, both in Hebrew and in English. It “is a way for her to memorialize her friends, to tell their stories, to make sure that they’re not forgotten,” Rabbi Rothchild said. “When I first heard her speak, it was sort of the dual emotions of wow, how terrible, and at the same time, feeling very inspired by this young generation that was willing to make the ultimate sacrifice for the State.”
After hearing the presentation, Rabbi Rothchild wanted to coordinate a speaking tour in the United States. “There’s no one else really telling this story in English, and it’s a story that needs to be told,” he said. “And we need to help the people who are suffering because of the attack and because of the war.
“The tatzpetaniot had seen terrorists practicing for months before October 7. That morning, they watched thousands of terrorists pouring into the country and coming towards their bases. They called for help but, after a while, it became clear that help wasn’t really coming. And they spent the whole day basically trying to fend off the terrorists. Ariella tells the story of what happened that day through the stories of her friends who were killed.
“So on the one hand it’s a very personal story. On the other, it’s the national story of the tragedy of October 7. Ariella manages to tell it in a way that doesn’t depress, but rather makes you realize the courage and the bravery of these young people who gave their lives.
“The way she tells the story is actually quite inspiring.”
What: If You Saw What I Saw: IDF soldier Ariella Ruback will talk about her experience on October 7 when her base was invaded by terrorists.
Where and when: Bergen County on Sunday, September 8, at 7:30 pm; West Orange on Wednesday, September 11, at 7:45. Location will be disclosed to registered participants.
Cost: $1
Register: Email widowsofwarriorsnj@gmail.com
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