What a kippah really tells you about its wearer

The Pew Research Center this week repackaged its recent findings on Israeli Jews into an explainer, laying out what a kippah tells you about its wearer.

Pew does not exhaust all the possibilities in this field, though. Below is our research department’s guide to some styles that Pew left out. If you’ve ever donned a kippah, even if only for your third cousin’s bat mitzvah, we’ve got a category for you.

Large pink satin kippah: You are attending Stacie’s bat mitzvah.

Puffy kippah that sits on your head like a dumpling: You are a politician visiting a synagogue for the first time.

Matching kippah-tallit set: You wore it once — at your bar mitzvah.

Crocheted kippah that looks like a slice of watermelon: You were the class clown in Hebrew school.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles kippah: You were bar mitzvahed in 1989.

Giant red kippah: You are a macher in the Catholic Church.

JTA Wire Service