Tastes like turkey?
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Tastes like turkey?

After last week’s snow fiasco, you would think that this week we would be celebrating Chanukah, but that is not the case. Now that the snow has melted, we can pretend that it never happened and that it still really is November. So, if you are reading this, you have survived the holiday of Thanksgiving, hopefully.

Every year I think back to the Thanksgivings I celebrated with my grandparents in Flatbush and the stuffing my grandmother bought us from this takeout place that was just heavenly to eat, and for some reason we could never recreate it. And even though my grandparents’ dining room table has been in my home for 20 years, I still think of those Thanksgivings when I set the table. Okay, enough of the flashbacks.

Though Orthodox Jews have Thanksgiving dinner every week, for the rest of the world it is an overwhelming event. Just think what it must be like to cook a turkey AND several side dishes…what a thought (as I have just finished planning yet another Shabbes menu for my sons and their many meat-eating friends, God bless ‘em). People post recipes for eight different kinds of stuffing and cranberry sauce and pumpkin-based dishes…five different kinds of pie…and family. In the end, Thanksgiving is supposed to be about the coming together of family. Blah blah blah…let’s get back to the food for a moment.

I was in the car the other day and a commercial came on for Thanksgiving-flavored Pringles. No, I am not kidding. As I recall, there were three different flavors — turkey, stuffing, and pumpkin. Yuck, yuck, and double yuck. How can a Pringle taste like turkey? And if you eat a turkey-flavored Pringle and a stuffing-flavored Pringle together, does it really taste like a forkful of turkey and stuffing? If someone is buying these Pringles, and if they are really lazy, can they serve them instead of the actual turkey and stuffing? But, again, how can they make a Pringle taste like turkey? How do they do that? Though, I must admit to all of you, I actually bought a bag of pickle-flavored potato chips and they really did taste like pickles. Which means that if I put these chips on a tuna fish sandwich, I am killing two birds with one stone — pickles and chips in one fell swoop! I still feel that a pickle-flavored chip is more plausible than a turkey-flavored chip. What will they think of next? Funny you should ask, because the DJ on the radio made his comments on the Thanksgiving chips and then started talking about Sour Patch-flavored cereal….

What happened to good old-fashioned frosted flakes? And Cheerios? Do you know how many flavors of Cheerios there are? It started with regular and honey nut. Those were the classics. But now there are maple-flavored, fruity-flavored, vanilla-flavored, chocolate-flavored, cinnamon-flavored, and on and on…. Why? There were fruity pebbles and cocoa pebbles and now they have cinnamon pebbles…why? But Sour Patch-flavored cereal? Why?

People want to know why there is so much obesity in our country. It starts with breakfast and the overabundance of flavors (and sugar). Life was easier when there were fewer choices. If you wanted frosted flakes, you would put sugar on your corn flakes! If you wanted chocolate milk, you would eat all of the cocoa puffs while the milk became chocolatey. (Or was that just me? Man, I hope not…) Captain Crunch came with Crunch Berries and now you can buy a box of just the Crunch Berries! It’s just not as fun though. Even Alphabets comes in different flavors — and again, I ask why??

Sorry, I get a little nuts when I start talking about food that I am passionate about… (OK, I get a little nuts about most things, but it is what it is.)

In any event, going back to the beginning of this rant, if any of you taste any of those Thanksgiving-flavored Pringles, I would appreciate some honest feedback because, quite honestly, I would be afraid to try them.

As for the real turkey, I hope you all had a wonderful meal with wonderful company and made some wonderful memories that will last a lifetime.

Banji Ganchrow of Teaneck enjoys a good bowl of Raisin Bran now and again — and it only comes in one flavor!

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