Talking and listening - The Jewish Standard

As most of you must know by now, the first night of Rosh Hashanah will be the 25th anniversary of September 11. (Maybe it’s more appropriate to call it the 25th yarzheit of its victims.)

That necessarily complicated day — looking backward not only with regret but with active sorrow, still looking forward with hope — will be even more complicated with the ever-more-active security measures we will have to take, as the threats to the Jewish community grow.

It’s true that the most recent attacker in Manhattan seems to have been not only a lone wolf but also an odd duck; we’re all incredibly lucky that he was unarmed. But there is no reason to assume that the next would-be terrorist will be equally unprepared.

You’re sure to see many takes on September 11/Rosh Hashanah, including here. For now, though, I want to land on the hopeful side of this divide.

Last week, I met my friend Faygie for coffee at Starbucks in the new Barnes and Noble in Livingston. We started talking about the Mount Laurel housing mandate. Soon, the man sitting one table away from us asked us if he could join the discussion. “It’s unusual to hear anyone talk about Mount Laurel,” Bill said.

Soon, I’m not sure how, Faygie and I realized that Bill also is Jewish; it came out gradually but quickly, if that makes sense.

And then there we were; Faygie is Orthodox, and politically right wing. Bill grew up Orthodox, in Weequahic, but disaffiliated from his last shul, which was Reform, long ago; he’s politically left wing. I was sitting between the two of them, appropriately — I’m a Conservative Jew, and basically more or less centrist.

And then we talked. We discussed. We debated. And we listened. We didn’t yell. We didn’t overtalk each other. We were polite, and we were honest.

And this is how it should be.

I know that it’s not usually as easy as it was for us. We were in a neutral, public place. The stakes were low. And the benefits were real. We all left feeling better for the new connections we made. It felt like, unlike the world around us, we were moving in the direction of hope.

That’s also what a Jewish community newspaper does.

It presents not only a range of views but a range of choices. Because we write about all parts of the local Jewish world — Reform, Conservative, and Orthodox, shuls, schools, JCCs, performances, discussions, arts, food — everything! — we can help demystify ourselves to each other. We can cross over. We give space for dialogue and discussion.

We always need those things, but we need them even more now, in this sinister new world we’re confronting. I’m glad that I got to do that serendipitously, and I’m glad that our paper does it more formally.

If there’s a lesson, it’s go talk! And also go listen.

—JP

Opinion