Let there be mishegas

Let there be mishegas

You would think that Christian conservatives would regard the Bible as Holy Writ. So many conservatives are believers in “biblical inerrancy” – the idea that the Bible is never wrong.

But some are actually attempting to rewrite it – or, as the Conservapedia Website declares, rid it of “liberal bias” (see conservapedia.com/Conservative_Bible_Project).

As far as I can tell, this audacious effort is mainly directed to THEIR scriptures – although they’ve “translated” parts of Genesis and Exodus.

Among the group’s guidelines for a Conservative version (I’ve deleted the footnotes):

1. Framework against Liberal Bias: providing a strong framework that enables a thought-for-thought translation without corruption by liberal bias

2. Not Emasculated: avoiding unisex, “gender inclusive” language, and other feminist distortions; preserve many references to the unborn child (the NIV deletes these)

3. Not Dumbed Down: not dumbing down the reading level, or diluting the intellectual force and logic of Christianity; the NIV is written at only the 7th grade level

4. Utilize Powerful Conservative Terms: using powerful new conservative terms to capture better the original intent; Defective translations use the word “comrade” three times as often as “volunteer”; similarly, updating words that have a change in meaning, such as “word”, “peace”, and “miracle”.

5. Combat Harmful Addiction: combating addiction by using modern terms for it, such as “gamble” rather than “cast lots”; using modern political terms, such as “register” rather than “enroll” for the census

6. Accept the Logic of Hell: applying logic with its full force and effect, as in not denying or downplaying the very real existence of Hell or the Devil.

7. Express Free Market Parables; explaining the numerous economic parables with their full free-market meaning

8. Exclude Later-Inserted Inauthentic Passages: excluding the interpolated passages that liberals commonly put their own spin on, such as the adulteress story

9. Credit Open-Mindedness of Disciples: crediting open-mindedness, often found in youngsters like the eyewitnesses Mark and John, the authors of two of the Gospels

10. Prefer Conciseness over Liberal Wordiness: preferring conciseness to the liberal style of high word-to-substance ratio; avoid compound negatives and unnecessary ambiguities; prefer concise, consistent use of the word “Lord” rather than “Jehovah” or “Yahweh” or “Lord God.”

Among the famous “liberal” passages to get the scalpel (or get scalped) is “Let him who is without sin cast the first stone” and “Forgive them, Father, they know not what they do.”

These guys know exactly what they’re doing.