Jewish & Goyish
From the Internet — anonymous
Judges are Jewish
Juries are Goyish
Packing all the mini-hotel shampoos is Jewish
Using them is Goyish
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Ordering family style is Jewish
Ordering a la carte is Goyish
Cruises are Jewish
Walking tours are Goyish
Grabbing lox from the back of the buffet first is Jewish
Grabbing melon from the front is Goyish
Picking from your mate’s plate is Jewish
Not wanting even a “little taste” is Goyish
Fruitcake is Goyish
Fruit and cake is Jewish
Reading “how-to” books is Goyish
Writing “how-to” books is Jewish
ESPN is Goyish
PBS is Jewish
Tiffany’s is Goyish
Your Uncle Ira in the Jewelry district is Jewish
Passing bars is Goyish
Passing the bar exam is Jewish
DIY (Do it Yourself) is Goyish
PAG (Pay a Goy who knows what he’s doing) is Jewish
West Coast is Goyish
East Coast is Jewish
Lunch meat is Goyish
Deli is Jewish
White bread is Goyish
Rye is Jewish
Sushi is Jewish
Chopsticks are Goyish
Laughing at someone else’s troubles is Goyish
Laughing at your own troubles is Jewish
“Youngsters” are Goyish
“Kids” are Jewish
Buttering bread is Goyish
Spreading margarine is Jewish
Sitting quietly to get served is Goyish:
Standing and waving one’s hands is Jewish
Beer is Goyish
Wine is Jewish
I have just one thing to say about the Heineken can. Maybe beer is Goyish, but Freddie Heineken, the founder of the Heineken Brewery in Amsterdam (a very Jewish city), was Jewish…just thought to tell you that…well, pointing this out is Jewish too, I think…
Tattoos and piercing are Goyish
Diamonds and pearls are Jewish
Ham sandwiches are Goyish
Corned beef on rye is Jewish
White sox are Goyish
No sox are Jewish
Saving money is Goyish
Investing money is Jewish
Snowmobiling is Goyish
Skiing is Jewish
Doing landscaping is Goyish
Hiring a landscaper is Jewish
A party that revolves around the buffet table is Jewish
A party that revolves around the bar is Goyish
Making lists of what’s Jewish and what’s not ..is VERY Jewish
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