Cocomelon
Greetings from the shtetl. You would think that I have been in Israel for a few weeks already and I would be writing about the restaurants and the museums, the hikes and the adventures, but, no, that is not what I am going to be writing about. At least not yet. Let us discuss Cocomelon.
Cocomelon is a cartoon baby who performs sing-alongs with his/her family. I think Cocomelon is a boy, but I am not really clear on that. I know that there is a brother and a sister, so he, based on what he wears, is most likely a he, but I do not want to be gender-biased or whatever is politically incorrect, so please forgive me.
I never showed Cocomelon to Strudel because, frankly, he is a bit annoying and my versions of the classic children’s songs are much more fun and animated. I can stretch out a “Wheels on the Bus” for as long as it entertains my cuties, even if it annoys the bejabbers out of my sons and daughters-in-law. When you leave Israel and your not-even-two-year-old granddaughter knows that the teacher on the bus says “shh shh shh,” with the hand motions, you know you have accomplished something.
Cocomelon is no match for Babka, but that isn’t the point of this.
The Cocomelon videos on YouTube are between two and five minutes long. Perfect. But there is one with a bunch of songs related to outdoor activities. And Cocomelon has this amazing backyard — I am talking really and truly magnificent. What do Mr. and Mrs. Cocomelon do for a living? Do they own the bus company that the wheels are going round and round on? Is this the future vocation of Cocomelon and his siblings?
A pool, a basketball court, a patio, the greenest grass with the coolest water toys that I have ever seen — a purple octopus that shoots out water, a slip-n-slide situation. Any possible gadget for summer fun you could imagine.
But here are my issues. Why aren’t the parents outside watching them? And why is there no fence around the pool????? Who edits these things? And why does it bother me so much?
And then, there is the Itsy Bitsy Spider video. Without googling the origin of this beloved nursery rhyme — because how many things are actually cuter than a chubby little toddler making the hand motions for this thing? — I think that this little ditty has been around for decades, if not centuries.
Well, in the Cocomelon version, the little girl takes the adorable, big, blue-eyed spider, and sets him back outside on his web. What????? That isn’t how it goes! What are we teaching our children? What happens if it is a mean spider who bites, or has lots of friends nearby who also bite? Nope. I am not happy about this, not one bit.
In the song, the spider still survives — on his own, with help only from nature and the sun drying up the rain. Not from some spoiled girl who lives in a backyard somewhere in Malibu. Wow, I feel a lot better now.
In any event, this past Shabbos, I had the pleasure of going to the park with Danish and her sisters and her incredible mother. (Son #2 met us much later with dinner in tow — that is a whole other column.) Babka becomes Big Scary Babka in the park.
Two little boys, most likely brothers, most likely not even 7 years old yet, each wielding a stick. One stick is metal and one stick is wood with nails on it. What fun for them! Not on my watch.
DIL #2 knows what is coming and she laughs anyway as Big Bad Babka goes over to the boys and says, in perfect English, “I am taking these away from you now. I have no idea who or where your mother is, but this is very dangerous.”
The two boys looked at me like I was a Tyrannosaurus Rex. With mouths hanging agape, they handed me the sticks without question.
I had never been happier, and my DIL was probably so thankful that I was there to save the day, she wrote with some sarcasm.
I love this country.
Banji Ganchrow of Teaneck doesn’t need to go to restaurants because her daughters-in-law are such amazing cooks! Oh, and because Husband #1 would rather that she not spend the money….