Ran’s return

As with much of feelings about Jewish life and Israel I am conflicted and torn. The news that the IDF finally located, identified, and recovered the remains of Ran Gvili filled me with so many raw emotions.

I felt enormous relief that Ran was finally brought home to his parents, family, friends, and the people and nation of Israel, who embraced him as their own after 843 days of captivity at the hands of Hamas’s terrorists and murderers. Ran’s recovery and return mean that today is the first day since 2014 that there is not a single Israeli captive or hostage inside Gaza.

I have the simultaneous feelings of grief, sadness, and bittersweet joy that Ran will finally be laid to rest inside Eretz Israel. I have feelings of appreciation that his family and friends will finally be able to grieve for him at his gravesite, knowing that he is finally home. I have feelings of wanting to offer them solace and comfort for Ran’s heroic sacrifice. I have feelings of admiration and gratitude for his passionate commitment to the ideals of Israel, Zionism, and Judaism, and his ability to give it his all. I have feelings of respect and thanks that Ran made the ultimate sacrifice of his life without hesitation or reservation in order to save others; and, indeed, to protect, defend, and save Israel.

I have feelings of gratitude and appreciation for the brave men and women of the IDF who labored for 843 days in combat and under harsh conditions to find Ran and to bring him home. I also have feelings of immense pride watching YouTube videos of our brave IDF soldiers in the fields of Gaza providing Ran with an honor guard and singing Ani Ma’amin and Hatikvah as he was transported back to Israel with love, dignity, care, and respect. My hearts swells with that same pride in watching Ran’s funeral and burial today in Israel.

I have feelings of anger and hurt that Ran’s family had to endure the past 843 days, and that we too as Amcha endured those days knowing neither his status nor his location. And yes, I have deep feelings of anger and hatred for those who murdered Ran simply because he was Jewish and an Israeli. I continue to feel anger as I remember the 1,219 other Israelis and victims of other nationalities who were murdered by Hamas terrorists during the heinous terrorist attack against Israel on October 7. I have feelings of relief and joy that of the 251 Israelis and others taken hostage on October 7, 168 came back home to Israel alive to be reunited with their families, and feelings of sorrow and grief that 83 did not return alive despite all of Israel’s and the IDF’s efforts.

As much as I celebrate the release and freedom of our hostages who were released alive and relief that those murdered at the hands of their captives are now at home and rest in peace in Israel, I have feelings of despair. Notwithstanding the unwavering commitment and efforts to bring our hostages home, why did it take so long? What more could Israel, the government, and the IDF have done? The United States? What about the nations and people of the world who stood by the hostages, their families, Israel, and the Jewish people? What more could I have done beyond social media, posts, walks in my community in support of the hostages, and writing to my elected officials?

I have feelings of wanting to celebrate today but they are overshadowed by feelings of concern. Will it happen again? When? What did we learn and how can we work to ensure that nothing like October 7 and its aftermath takes place for Israel and the Jewish people worldwide? What can be done to combat anti-Israel sentiments and rhetoric? How do we combat antisemitism and Jew-hatred? What more can be done to ensure Israel’s safety, security, vitality, and dynamism? What more can be done to guarantee that our Jewish children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren grow up to be proud, aware, knowledgeable, and committed Jews?

I also have feelings of concern. How long will we and the world remember what happened on October 7? How long will it take until those killed on October 7 become a footnote of history? What do we do after October 7 to remember Yehuda Katz, Guy Hever and Ron Arad, who remain missing in action, as well as the 176 IDF members who remain in unknown graves?

I remember wearing a bracelet with the name of Evgeny Lein, a Soviet Jewish refusenik, for many years, until he was allowed to emigrate to Israel. But today it is a distant memory that only comes alive when I open my jewelry box and see his name on the bracelet. I remember where I was on September 11 each year on the anniversary of that horrible day, or whenever I travel into Manhattan and see the spire of the Freedom Tower. But that also can become a distant memory even though I live less than 20 miles from Ground Zero.

I have stopped placing my yellow ribbon pin on my sports jacket but have not yet removed the symbolic dog tag I have worn for the past two and a half years. I wonder whether that is appropriate and if I should continue to wear both the pin and tag as a visible, physical reminder of October 7. I have worked with my congregation’s rabbi to donate and erect a beautiful memorial to all of the victims of October 7 in front of our synagogue. But is that enough? How will October 7 be remembered in the years to come?

I am conflicted.

But one thing has always been crystal clear in both my heart and my mind most especially post-October 7 and now the return of Ran Gvili. I live my life as a proud Jew and Zionist. I always have. It is a message that I hope I have conveyed successfully to my children and grandchildren and to my family and friends, as well as those I have been privileged to work with as a Jewish communal professional for more than 45 years. I may be conflicted, but I am absolutely and unabashedly proud to be a Jew and Zionist today and always.

That pride might mean that I will continue to wear a yellow ribbon pin or my hostage dog tag.  It means that I will work to ensure that October 7 is commemorated each year at my synagogue and in my Jewish community. It means that my trips to Israel will continue to include the Nova site and what was once Hostage Square. And much the same way that I have taken groups to Yoni Netanyahu’s grave on Mt. Herzl, I hope to have the privilege to visit Ran Gvili’s grave, place a stone of remembrance atop his matzeivah, and offer prayers that Ran’s neshama will have an aliyah as one of Israel’s and the Jewish people’s giborim.

May Ran’s life, deeds, and memory serve as an inspiration to us all and become an eternal source of brachot and mitzvot for his family and Am Israel.

Elliot B. Karp, the director of philanthropy at Temple Emanu-El of Westfield, has been a Jewish communal professional for more than 45 years. He is the former CEO of both the Jewish Federation of Las Vegas and Hillels of Georgia.