Off we go, Part I
Great news! The sad news about Sunkist Fruit Gems now has a happy ending. Apparently, a lot of folks were upset, protests were held, letters were written, and there were social media campaigns a plenty. Fruit Gems aren’t going anywhere. It’s a Sukkot miracle! And now we can go back to our regularly scheduled programming. If only everything in life were that easy.
And in more great news, I am beyond grateful and thankful to Hashem to tell you all that Matzo Ball is a big brother to a baby sister. Thank God, mother and baby are doing well, and Matzo Ball is excited because he remains the only male heir to the Ganchrow throne (and what a title that is). This all happened a week earlier than “planned,” because nothing in life can really be planned, and as I write this, I am on an airplane to the Holy Land.
The thing about being a boymom is accepting that even if our daughters-in-law like us, the girlmom comes first. This is okay, all good, and I have made my peace with it. I am also very honest with my daughters-in-law, so they know this is how I feel, aka how it really is. Now there are boymoms who are fine with the girlmoms doing everything, and then there are boymoms who, even though they know they come in second, truly want to be a part of everything. At this point, I could really give a TED talk on this subject.
God willing, Matzo Ball’s other grandparents are also going to the Holy Land. When they arrive, though I am large, I will make myself small and do exactly as I am told, be where I am told, buy what I am told — you get the picture. But, because I want to be helpful, this trip is going to be seven weeks long.
Do I automatically become a citizen if I stay that long? There are elections in Israel and in America while I am away — will the world still be standing in seven weeks? How many Cheetos can I eat in seven weeks? What will become of Husband #1 after seven weeks? And what kind of wife am I when, even after his having back surgery a few weeks ago, I am leaving him on his own?
I will tell you what kind of wife — the kind who puts her kids first. If I ever really want to annoy Husband #1, I tell him that I am related to my boys and not to him. Which technically is true. Please don’t worry about him, there are dozens of dinners in the freezer, and he will be able to lift less than 10 pounds by then, and he can do laundry. I hope.
We are on a flight that leaves at 11 in the morning and arrives at 4:30 in the morning. Being someone who is terrible at math, that whole time thing gives me a headache. But Husband #1 booked this flight so he wouldn’t have to bring his lulav and etrog on the plane. I also get a headache trying to figure out that logic, but I just do what I am told. Because that is what kind of spouse I am. To be read with mild sarcasm.
In any event, the day before I left, I met Son #1 and DIL #1, Strudel, Little Curly, and her sisters at the Queens Zoo, and this is my review. If the Bronx Zoo and Van Saun Zoo had a baby, this is what it would look like. The best part? (Aside from seeing the Far Faraway crew) was the FREE parking. You read correctly: F R E E.
As a Jersey girl, I think that Queens might as well be on Mars because I never went there growing up. Actually, that isn’t true, I spent many a Sunday afternoon at Shea Stadium to see the Mets play. That’s Queens, right? But that was it.
This zoo is a beautiful little Mecca in the city. It was clean, there was a lovely variety of animals, and Strudel loved the gift shop. Our favorite animal, because you asked, was a cute little thing called a Pudu. Of course, bad Babka said it rhymed with doodoo, and then I got a lesson in bathroom words. Good times all around.
That is all for now. Wishing everyone good health and peace.
Banji Ganchrow of Teaneck is really hoping she gets Netflix in the apartment she is renting in the shtetl.