A fairy tale
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A fairy tale

A long time ago, in a place far, far away, there was a princess with a great sense of humor and her father’s nose. She married a prince, who also had a great sense of humor but his mother’s nose (a great nose, for the record) and they, in turn, gave birth to three handsome princes, most of whom had great senses of humor, but three different noses.

The princes all grew up so quickly that the princess’s head is now spinning, because she cannot believe that she doesn’t have to buy anyone school supplies or collared shirts in various solid colors. Or drive carpool. Or stock the snack drawer with snacks that teenaged boys like. (Does that sound creepy?) Or make sure there are pencils for homework. (Who is she kidding, no one uses pencils anymore…or do they? What happened to all of those pencils that she had to sharpen before the first day of school? Is there a landfill somewhere filled with thousands of pencils sharpened by mothers or fathers before the first day of school that no child ever used? Hmmm, will have to circle back to that. And did her princes ever do homework?) No school calendar to look through for random days off that make no sense, or winter vacations, or any vacations for that matter.

Now this princess works around something called “bein hazmanim,” which has something to do with, well, she still isn’t sure. What she does know is that during this time period, there is a chance that she will see more of her princes because they aren’t locked away in yeshiva somewhere…ahh, how times have changed.

The past week has been a more emotional than usual for me. It could be grief, it could be menopause, or it could be the fact that I am just hormonally imbalanced. My first cousin’s first child got married. It was the first family simcha that I was not able to attend, and I guess it affected me more than I thought it would. I still remember when this little girl was born. Son #1 was playing on his gymini (yes, Strudel used it as well. Yes, it was washable, for all of you haters) and my aunt called to say it was a girl.

Now, my aunt is a boy mom OG  (original gangster…whatever that means), and after four sons she had a granddaughter. This was really exciting for everyone. And now that little girl is married, and I could not be there with my aunt and cousins to celebrate. So that, coupled with my empty nest realization (again), and the fact that my gray hair is growing in faster then it used to, and the only person I have to blame that on is Husband #1, well, there you have it.

Oh, and that my boyfriend, Rick Springfield turned 73. 73! When did that happen? Why is my boyfriend so old?

I also think that music has always been very therapeutic for me, and I am going on Week 14 of not listening to it. I actually feel badly for Strudel, because when she comes over, Babka has to sing to her, and that can’t end well for anyone. I only listen to 1010 WINS in the car and I am in love with one of the traffic announcers because she is so funny and sarcastic, and yet I wonder why they still have traffic on the radio when everyone seems to have Waze… Hmmm.  Husband #1 finds it funny that I know what’s going on in the world now because I listen to talk radio.

But let’s talk about something positive. Strudel. She is positively adorable.

I wish a Strudel on everyone because she is just able to make everything better. Our newest activity is climbing up the stairs. Well, she climbs, which is actually better for me because of my gosh darn arthritic knee. It is the perfect pace for Babka. And she is so helpful in picking up all of the dirt that the vacuum missed and handing it to me. So much for my housekeeping skills.  In any event, thank you all for listening to me this week. Wishing a tremendous mazal to my aunt and my cousins and especially the new couple. Life is full of so many ups and downs! May you weather them together in good health and happiness.

Banji Ganchrow of Teaneck really needs a therapist but will continue to use her column to push forward.

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