Q: Why did Adam and Eve have a perfect marriage?

A: He didn’t have to hear about all the men she could have married, and she didn’t have to hear about the way his mother cooked.

Q: What business is a yenta in?

A: Yours.

Q: How do Jewish wives get their children ready for supper?

A: They put them in the car.

Q: What does a Jewish woman do to keep her hands soft and her nails long?

A: Nothing at all

Q: Define “genius”

A: An average student with a Jewish mother

Q: If Tarzan and Jane were Jewish, what would Cheetah be?

A: A fur coat

Jewish Proverbs:

– The trouble with some Jewish women is that they get all excited about nothing; then they marry him.

– A Bar Mitzvah is defined as the day when a Jewish boy comes to realize that he is more likely to own a professional sports team than he is to play for one.